Sam is the black male demon on the left. Charlie is the fawn female demon on the right. Yes, my demon children are pugdogs! I know you are all very jealous that I have such wonderful and adorable children. If you are lucky, I just may call on you to watch them someday. They are not allowed to have chocolate, raisins, or garlic. They do enjoy a tasty marshmallow, pork rinds, and anything else you may happen to drop on the floor in their vicinity.
You may think calling them my children is weird. Good! I don't really call them my children. Neither do I treat them like children.
I know, I know. I just said I didn't treat them like children. And, I didn't do this. Joe did. He actually sewed and embroidered them both hooded fleece jammies.
If you watch them for us, you may need to know a bit about them.
They are pretty idiotic. Until you don't expect them to be. Also, if food is involved, their IQ's seem to rise.
Sam will never stop eating. Example 1: We take them with us to my parents when we visit for Christmas. The first year we took them, Mom claimed that she had doggie/childproofed the kitchen and we could let them loose instead of kenneling them while we visited her sister's family. When we returned from Family Dinner, Sam and Charlie were very thirsty. We walked them and they drank all the kitties water. We brought them in and refilled their empty water bowl which they promptly drank. I looked down at Sam and noticed that he was pear-shaped. He was so fat that he couldn't scratch his own ear. Searching around a bit, we found out that he had been eating out of the bag of Dog Chow that was on the porch for the whole time we had been at Aunt Tracy's. Four hours of gorging will make one fat pug. He did barf. The next morning. For Joe. Outside, thank goodness.
They clear their tiny nasal passage by snorting forcefully. Usually when they have their nose near your bare leg or unsuspecting face. You get used to it.
They will try to make out with you. Charlie is especially adept at getting a quick French kiss just when you least expect it. It is only really disturbing when her tongue touches yours. You may feel the need to shower immediately following her well-meaning but unwanted smooch. She has not yet learned that "No!" means no.
Sometimes I drop stuff. They don't mind.
Joe keeps asking when we can get a real dog. His definition of a real dog...
I like my toy dogs. They are entertaining and don't eat much (if monitored). They have a ton of personality. They love me. And, perhaps best of all, their poop is small.
No comments:
Post a Comment